Relationships form the cornerstone of our existence. With family, friends, partners, colleagues, we derive meaning, experience emotions, and navigate life’s intricacies. But what happens when addiction enters this landscape? What is the interplay between addiction and relationships?
Understanding Addiction and Relationships
At the core, relationships are about trust. They’re about showing up, being seen, and connecting with others in an authentic way. But addiction has the distinct power to corrupt this reality. When it takes hold, the pursuit of a substance becomes almost the only thing of any importance to a person with an addiction. In fact, Families with at least one member struggling with addiction are twice as likely to report instances of domestic conflict, compared to families without addiction issues. Their drive to satisfy the psychological and physical need takes precedence. Even to the point that they lose some sense of right and wrong. The result? Broken trust. Broken relationships.
The Dynamics of Addiction and Broken Trust
In the realm of addiction and relationships, the idea of trust is a reality we build with those around us. When we’re consistent, when we deliver on our promises, we build equity or faith in the reality. But addiction erodes this.
Imagine a favorite brand you’ve trusted for years suddenly delivering a faulty product or a negative experience. Your trust wavers. Similarly, addiction alters behaviors, making actions unpredictable. The loved ones of those battling addiction deal with missed commitments, erratic behaviors, emotional absence, deceit, broken promises, and even more. This new reality erodes the foundation of trust.
Addiction and Relationships: The Emotional Fallout
Beyond the trust dynamics, there’s the emotional toll. Resentment, frustration, sadness, and hopelessness often shadow relationships plagued by addiction. It’s not uncommon for the non-addicted partner to feel isolated, bearing the brunt of responsibilities and grappling with feelings of neglect. The strain on mental and emotional health becomes palpable.
If you are a parent, it’s also important to understand children growing up in households with addiction face higher risks of developing emotional and behavioral problems. Worse, they are more likely to develop their own addiction issues in adulthood.
The Road to Rebuilding
While the entanglement of addiction and relationships can be complex and challenging, hope isn’t lost. Understanding the problem is the first step. If you are looking to build or salvage a relationship where addiction is still in play, communication becomes key.
Honest, open dialogues foster understanding, paving the way for professional intervention if needed.
Recovery centers like Covenant Hills, therapists, and support groups specialize in healing the wounds caused by addiction and broken trust. With patience, commitment, and the right resources, trust can be rebuilt, and relationships can heal.
Talking to Someone You Love About Addiction
Approaching a loved one about their addiction and its impact on your relationship is undeniably challenging. It requires sensitivity, empathy, and patience. Here are three essential keys to keep in mind:
- Choose the Right Environment and Timing:
- Safe Space: The setting should be comfortable and free of distractions or potential triggers. A quiet, familiar environment can put both of you at ease.
- Timing Matters: Avoid discussing their addiction when they’re under the influence or during a time of heightened stress. Opt for a moment when they’re more likely to be sober and receptive. It’s also crucial that you’re calm and prepared for the conversation.
- Plan Ahead: Think about the main points you want to address and anticipate potential reactions. This isn’t about rehearsing a script but having a clear sense of your feelings and helping them understand the impact of their addiction.
- Use “I” Statements and Speak from the Heart:
- Personalize Your Feelings: Instead of starting with “You always…” or “You never…”, which can sound accusatory, frame your concerns with “I” statements. For instance, “I feel hurt when our plans are canceled because of your drinking” is less confrontational than “You always cancel our plans because you’re drinking.”
- Be Honest but Compassionate: Share specific incidents or patterns you’ve observed and express your concern for their well-being. Emphasize that your intention is not to blame or criticize but to express your feelings and fears.
- Seek to Understand: Remember that addiction is a complex issue. Listen actively to their side of the story and show a genuine interest in understanding their feelings and struggles.
- Focus on Solutions and Offer Support:
- Professional Help: Research beforehand and have information ready about addiction treatment centers, therapists, or support groups. Offer to help them find and access these resources.
- Stay Committed: Reiterate your commitment to supporting them throughout their recovery journey, emphasizing that the goal is a healthier relationship for both of you.
- Set Boundaries: While it’s essential to be supportive, it’s equally crucial to protect your own well-being. Clearly express any boundaries or changes you need in the relationship to ensure its health and longevity.
Treatment for Addiction and Relationships
If you or someone you know struggles with addiction, seeking help is paramount. Family addiction treatment groups are available at many treatment centers, as well individual counseling will help the person with the substance use disorder understand the complexity of their addiction.
Remember, it’s not just about the individual but the entire tapestry of relationships that form our human experience. With the right support, transformation is possible, allowing trust and connections to flourish once more.
Need help with addiction? Call us: 800-662-2873.Our team will offer guidance for you or your loved one on getting help today.
