Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The second step of Alcoholics Anonymous is often the key to many people’s recovery, to many seen as the most important of the steps.
To me walking through the doors of Pacific Hills Treatment Center was already a battle in itself. But being asked to accept God into my life for the sake of recovery was blasphemy. God never really played a crucial role in my life, actually I tried to shun even the thought of a higher power. Believing I was too good or too smart to waste my time with such nonsense as religion or faith. Very close-minded to any possibility that it would work for me.
After weeks of attending groups and meetings with this attitude, I soon found out I was hitting a wall as far as my recovery went. After talking to therapists and people with experience, in sobriety and the program, I soon found out that I would need to change my closed minded way of thinking because obviously my thought process and general way of living wasn’t working and was the reason I was where I am.
So I decided to give this whole God thing a try. To be honest I had no idea where to start. It was suggested to me that I start with a prayer, something I hadn’t done in a very long time. I was also told there was no wrong way to do it, so I thought I might as well give it a shot. So I got on my knees and continued for a couple days, just pouring out my heart asking for guidance, hoping someone was listening.
To my amazement, something in me the following weeks drastically changed. I just really had a better attitude towards recovery, my addiction, and the everyday life in treatment. Accepting that if I didn’t start to open my mind to new ways of thinking and take an invested interest methods that work, I would never really make a progress in getting where I wanted to be. To be honest I don’t know why things were happening the way they did and were working, but I wasn’t complaining.
So I feel that, why try to fix something that isn’t broken. I’m going to stick with what’s working for me even if I don’t completely understand it. And just trust that if GOD can make this much of a difference in my troubled life in short weeks what would a lifetime walk with God lead me to.